Cribsheet- A Data Driven Guide To Better,More Relaxed Parenting,From Birth To Preschool

CONTENTS

Also by Emily Oster

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Introduction

PART ONE

In the Beginning

1. The First Three Days

2. Wait, You Want Me to Take It Home?

3. Trust Me, Take the Mesh Underwear

PART TWO

The First Year

4. Breast Is Best? Breast Is Better? Breast Is About the

Same?

5. Breastfeeding: A How-To Guide

6. Sleep Position and Location

7. Organize Your Baby

8. Vaccination: Yes, Please

9. Stay-at-Home Mom? Stay-at-Work Mom?

10. Who Should Take Care of the Baby?

11. Sleep Training

12. Beyond the Boobs: Introducing Solid Food

PART THREE 

From Baby to Toddler

13. Early Walking, Late Walking: Physical Milestones

14. Baby Einstein vs. the TV Habit

15. Slow Talking, Fast Talking: Language Development

16. Potty Training: Stickers vs. M&M’s

17. Toddler Discipline

18. Education

PART FOUR

The Home Front

19. Internal Politics

20. Expansions

21. Growing Up and Letting Go

Acknowledgments

Appendix: Further Reading

Notes

Index

About the Author 

 

INTRODUCTION

As infants,both my children loved to be swaddled- wrapped up tightly in blankets to sleep. Our blanket of choice was something called The  Miracle Blanket, which involved a complicated wrapping procedure that only Houdini himself could have escaped. We had about nine of these blankets, since we feared we would run out and have to use a swaddle covered in poop.

Swaddling is great, and it can help your infant sleep. But there is a downside: you can’t use it forever. At some point, your kid will get too big and you’ll have to stop. Now, a first-time parent might not assume that this is a problem, but breaking the swaddle habit is no easy task.

With our daughter, Penelope (kid number one), breaking the swaddle led to worse sleep habits, followed by a long reliance on a product called the Rock ’n Play Sleeper, which I still have nightmares about. Other parents have told me stories of seeking secret online sources for larger-size swaddles. There are women on Etsy who will create a swaddle blanket for your eighteen-month-old. Please note:

Just because there is a secret market for something on Etsy doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea.

One of the features of having a second child is you can have a doover on all your perceived mistakes. As an “experienced parent,” you can make sure that anything you look back on with regret you’ll fix on this round. At least, that’s what I thought. Breaking the swaddle was at the top of my list. I was going to do it right this time.

As Finn (kid number two) approached four or five months old, I made a plan. First, for a few days I’d swaddle Finn as usual, but leave one arm uncovered. Then, a few days later, after he adjusted to that, I’d take the other arm out. Then I’d uncover his legs. Finally, I’d dispense with the whole swaddle. The internet assured me that this way we’d lose the swaddle without also losing any (hard-won) sleeping skills. 

I was ready to start. I put a date on the calendar and informed my husband, Jesse.

Then, one extremely hot day shortly before the assigned start date,the power went out, and with it the air conditioning. Finn’s room was 95 degrees. It was approaching bedtime. I panicked. When fully deployed, the swaddle blanket was many layers of fabric. Finn would roast.

Should I keep him awake in the hopes the power would come back on? It could be days. Should I just swaddle him and figure he’d be hot?

This seemed irresponsible and also kind of mean. Should I just hold him while he slept and not put him in the crib at all until it cooled down? This was also very hot, and experience suggested he wouldn’t sleep for long in my arms.

My best-laid plans set aside, I put him to bed in a diaper and onesie. No swaddle. I explained it to him as I nursed him to sleep,drenched in sweat.

“Finn, I’m sorry, but it’s so hot out! We can’t use the swaddle. But don’t worry, you can still sleep. I know you can do it! Now you’ll be able to suck on your fingers! Won’t that be nice?”

With a big smile, I put him in his crib, unswaddled, and left the room. I prepared for the worst. Penelope would have screamed bloody murder. Finn, though, just made a few surprised noises and fell asleep.

Obviously, an hour later the power came back on. By then Finn was sleeping. I asked Jesse if I should go in and swaddle him now. Jesse told me I was nuts, and collected all the Miracle Blankets for the charity bin.

As I lay in bed that night, I wondered if Finn would sleep worse now, if I should go dig the blankets out of the bin and wrap him in one.

I was tempted to jump on the computer and read stories of swaddleinduced sleep regression, or lack thereof. In the end, I was too hot to follow through, and our swaddle days were over.

As a parent, you want nothing more than to do the right thing for your children, to make the best choices for them. At the same time, it can be impossible to know what those best choices are. Things crop up that you never thought about—even with a second kid, probably even with a fifth kid. The world, and your child, surprise you all the time. It is hard not to second-guess yourself, even on the small things........... 

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